Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) encompasses the core emotional intelligence and relationship-building skills that lead to happy, healthy and successful lives.

We are not born with these skills and behaviors, but they can be learned and nurtured to influence positive changes that are almost immediately recognizable.

Model New and Positive Ways For Your Clients to Behave and Interact with Others

Now, more than ever, our children need social and emotional support as they are forced to navigate an uncertain future while trying to also manage stress, anxiety, isolation, lack of motivation and a host of other developmental challenges that have been exacerbated by the impact of COVID-19.

Our unique “HOW-TO” program includes videos with real coaches and real kids walking through key exercises from Caroline’s book “Why Will No One Play With Me,” offering coaches real world examples and applications to model with their own clients (and/or their clients’ parents.)

Delivered as a convenient and affordable monthly subscription, the How To SEL series offers a variety of opportunities to learn from and engage with social learning experts through quick and convenient video lessons and live monthly Q&As.

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“Self-awareness is so important in coaching, and it can be really challenging to have my clients understand how they’re showing up in the world. It really helps to see the lessons in action with a real coach, and real kids.”
Patrick L

See A Real Coach and Real Kids In Action

Here are just a few examples of how our bite-sized videos make it fun and easy to learn and teach social and emotional skills to kids of all ages.

You are invited to use/view all of the content and videos during coaching sessions with your paid subscription.

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Included in the Subscription:

'SEL'abration Starter Kit

Includes all the resources you need to support you throughout the subscription, as well some "goodies" to make practicing SEL fun for everyone, including:

  • Caroline Maguire’s groundbreaking playbook “Why Will No One Play With Me?” 
  • Scarlet Lewis’s best-selling memoir “Nurturing, Healing Love: A Mother’s Journey of Hope and Forgiveness,” the story of how a six year old boy’s final message inspired a global movement that teaches how social and emotional learning skills can help us heal ourselves and our future society;
  • A Choose Love Journal
  • A “Spy Kit,” complete with child-sized spy glass, observation notebook and a pen to equip your children with a fun and tangible connection to the lessons;
  • and more!

Digital Lessons Library

Your custom portal for accessing and storing monthly lessons, additional resources as recommended by Caroline and Scarlett, and more!

Access to Choose Love CONNECT Community

An added bonus for those seeking to connect with and learn from educators, administrators, parents, government officials, community organizations, and businesses from around the globe who believe in the power of SEL and our Choose Love programs!

VIEW The Program Outline

Click the glasses to preview all 12 months of lessons/ scope and sequence.

Monthly Digital Lessons

Your How To SEL lessons and activities for the month, plus access to a Live Q&A with Caroline and Scarlett

  • For Kids — includes 2 “how to” video demonstrations of select exercises from Why Will No One Play With Me?” including real scenarios with real children to make them instructional and engaging for all ages; 
  • For You — includes a master class with Scarlett and/or guest experts on a variety of topics related to SEL practices with a focus on how they can help nurture and support the parents/caregivers;
  • Choose Love Activity Center — offering an engaging activity or “challenge” for kids of all ages that reinforces the month’s lessons and encourages sharing via the interactive Choose Love Challenge Board.

Also Available As A GIFT Subscription

100% of the proceeds for this subscription are being donated to the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement to support free SEL programming for schools, homes and communities.

About the Authors

Caroline Maguire


Caroline earned her undergraduate degree at Trinity College and her Masters of Education and Early Childhood Development with a specialization in social emotional learning (SEL) at Lesley University. Caroline is the author of the award winning book, Why Will No One Play With Me?, a playbook of foolproof scripts on social skills development. 

She is the founder of a comprehensive Social Emotional Learning (SEL) training methodology for adults, parents, clinicians and academic professionals on how to cultivate emotional regulation, emotional intelligence, social-awareness and responsible decision-making skills. She is the founder and director of The Fundamentals of ADHD Coaching for Families training curriculum at ADD Coach Academy (ADDCA) – the only Coach Training program accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF). 

After several years as a highly respected social skills clinician at the Hallowell Center Boston MetroWest, Ms. Maguire formed her own private practice. She is a sought-after lecturer and workshop facilitator on various topics related to social, emotional and behavioral learning. She is a permanent columnist on social skills in ATTitude Magazine, a favored contributor to U.S. News & World Report, Mind Body Green, Salon, Huffington Post, Today Parenting, ADDitude, Attention Magazine and WebMD. Follow her @AuthorCarolineM

Scarlett Lewis

Chief Movement Officer, Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement™
Scarlett founded the nonprofit Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement after her son’s murder in the Sandy Hook tragedy in 2012. She became part of the solution to the issues in society — and that also caused the tragedy — and advocates for social-emotional learning and character education. She’s the author of Nurturing Healing Love: A Mother’s Journey of Hope & Forgiveness, a memoir of her journey toward choosing love and forgiveness.
Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement’s flagship program, Choose Love for Schools™, is a no-cost, comprehensive, lifespan, next generation SEL and character development program that empowers educators and students to choose love, handle adversity, and manage their emotions. After 5 years of viral adoption by schools in each of the 50 states and 110 countries worldwide and now reaching more than 2 million children, Choose Love programming was extended to include Choose Love For Home™, Choose Love for Communities™, Champions Choose Love™, and a program for the workplace via Choose High Performance, and recently launched Choose Love CONNECT, a unique web-based  destination for connection and inspiration among all believers in the power of Choosing Love.
In addition to multiple appearances on the Today Show, Scarlett has been interviewed by national media including CBS News, the BBC, Fox News, The Guardian, and People Magazine and many regional papers and podcasts about Choose Love and the benefits of SEL, and has been featured in high-profile magazines, including Fortune, Strive, and Huffington Post. Scarlett has also given keynote speeches at Tedx and global education conferences and has presented at the SXSW EDU Conference; ASCD Empower; the Nebraska Mental Health Conference; and multiple statewide Counselor Association Conferences. She has received many awards for her contribution toward promoting global peace and raising awareness of SEL, including the 2020 Peace Hero Award, the 2020 Nonprofit Unsung Hero Award, 2019 Global Presence Humanitarian, a Hero of Forgiveness, and the 2019 NEASC (New England Association of Schools and Colleges) Charles Eliot Award.

Frequently Asked Questions

SEL stands for  Social and Emotional Learning – the process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to build healthy, healing relationships, develop resiliency and make responsible decisions.
CASEL’s 5 competencies are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making. 
At the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement, we believe that SEL also needs to include character education, positive psychology, neuroscience, growth mindset and post traumatic growth.

More than 30 years of scientific research proves that children who have access to the skills and tools taught through SEL grow into more successful and healthy adults.

Overall they have a deeper sense of self, commitment to community and learned compassion for others. This results in lower violent crime and incarceration rates, alcohol and drug abuse, and instances of mental illness.

When you are feeling angry, irritated, overwhelmed, struggling to initiate caring communication, and bewildered by others’ choices and self-awareness, you are in the midst of a SEL experience.
You can adapt to and adopt effective strategies, or you can succumb to its effects.
Life skills do not just include knowing math, geography and how to balance a checkbook. They include the ability to read a room, manage emotions and self manage.
The “whole person” theory includes all elements of human development. SEL development is an integral part of this theory. Without attending to our relationships, and managing our emotions, we will not be able to come out the other side “whole” and “united”.
When parents practice right alongside the kids… it facilitates parent/child interactions, and it benefits you – in your relationships with yourself, colleagues and neighbors. 
When you learn to become more self-aware, you will notice your fearful emotional response when your child is struggling or fails to come home on time. You will feel your heart beat faster and possibly clench your stomach. You may have the desire to do something erratic, but you then recognize that this behavior is a result of emotions and thoughts running amok. 
Using Scarlett’s self-management and self-awareness strategies will help you learn to accept that these reactions are common when you experience anxiety and you can calm yourself down and implement her suggestions. 
The next time you experience these anxiety symptoms, you will be able to stop the escalation. You will remember learning from Scarlett that when you felt the terror, you could change how you feel by thinking differently about the situation. 
  1. When you first subscribe, you will receive a welcome email from Scarlett and Caroline with a video and the link to your Digital Lessons Library, where Month 1 lessons will be immediately available.  You will also be invited to complete your profile to enhance your subscription experience, which includes access to discussion boards and other interactive features.
  2. Within about 5 business days, we will have your “SELabration” Starter Kit in the mail – it will be shipped Priority Mail. Your Kit will include Caroline Maguire’s best-selling book “Why Will No One Play With Me?” which is what will serve as the foundation of our ongoing How-To lessons.   The Kit will also include Scarlett Lewis’s memoir, a journal, a “spy kit” for kids, and a few other fun goodies from the Choose Love Movement shop.
  3. About every 30 days following your first day of subscription, you will receive an email notification that the next month of lessons is available via your Digital Lessons Library.

Developing Social Emotional Learning skills can benefit ALL ages, and the lessons we cover can be applied to a broad range of scenarios!

Although we focus many of the activities and demonstrations on younger children (ages 6-12,) we also include practices and activities that can benefit teens and adults, as well.

Yes, if you select the monthly subscription plan, you can cancel anytime after the first 3 months of your subscription.

As each new month of lessons becomes available, you will have unlimited access to the content via your Digital Lessons Library.

Yes, we know that coaches will benefit from utilizing these skills and tools with their clients and encourage you to adapt them to your unique practice.  We do request that each professional wishing to directly access the content purchases their own subscription, as ‘sharing’ subscriptions among multiple users is not permitted.

We would be happy to discuss your specific requirements and discount options for purchases of 6 or more subscriptions.  Please email us at to inquire, and be sure to leave your phone number so we can follow up.

Our educator licenses are intended for larger audiences and include multi-person access with a significant discount. Please email us for details and a quote.

Yes, please send the order information to and we will be in touch.

Yes, we would be happy to assist you.  Email us at and we’ll do our best to help!

The How To SEL subscription is being hosted and maintained by Scarlett Lewis’s nonprofit organization, Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement.  Your purchase will be made via their secure server and your receipt (and future communications relating to your subscription/ account) will come from a “” email address.

Coping with your emotions is a life skill, and the ability to not just push them down but actually process them – and have a go-to kit to practice that – is something EVERY parent and EVERY teacher can help children develop.

Caroline Maguire

YOU are the expert when it comes to your child (or children). You are their parent and you know your child better than anybody else. What we will be sharing with you will help you to be the best parent that you can be.

Scarlett Lewis

© 2021 All Rights Reserved

Program Outline

Each month, you will receive 3 video lessons and one activity for children, all of which have been selected because they can be easily modified for multiple ages.

Two of the videos feature Caroline Maguire actually coaching a child using a strategy from her book  Why Will No One Play With Me? and the third video is a Master Class with Scarlett Lewis exploring strategies and techniques to help adults cope with the topic of that month.

There is no right or wrong way to “practice” this program; it was intentionally designed to be flexible. We encourage you to complete the monthly lessons and activity at whatever pace you feel best works for your child/children/students, keeping in mind that there are a variety of ways to apply the lessons (watch it with child, or without, etc) and a variety of circumstances during which a lesson concept could be discussed or reinforced.

There are times when you may think that you are the only family struggling to get it right. Many parents sacrifice their hobbies and free time to manage homework, plan meals and taxi their children while our children exhibit higher levels of anxiety than ever before in history.

This month we tackle how to be aware of our own and others’ feelings. Highly emotionally intelligent people do this all the time. This critical life skill can be developed at any age.

  • Video Lesson 1: The Impression You Create in the World p. 125-126
  • Video Lesson 2: Comfort Zone p. 105-106
  • Master Class: Courage & First Impressions
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/Activity: Be A Super Hero

Sometimes it can feel like you’re the only family struggling to get it right. This month we tackle how to be aware of our own and others’ feelings. Highly emotionally intelligent people do this all the time. This critical life skill can be developed at any age.

  • Lesson 1: How Worried Should I  Really Be? p. 263-265
  • Lesson 2: Thinking Me, Reactive Me p. 252-254
  • Master Class: Conquering Overwhelm
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity: Create A Coping Skills Castle

Unpleasant thoughts can get “stuck” in our minds, and if allowed to grow and fester, they can become distressing. We may feel powerless if we worry about them excessively. This month we explore strategies to recognize their signals, reduce sensitivity to these thoughts, and react in a thoughtful and healthy manner.

  • Lesson 1: Sticky Brain p. 147-147
  • Lesson 2: Pinpointing How You Feel Across the Day p. 262-263
  • Master Class: How To Manage Repetitive Thoughts
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity: Empathy Pebble Jars

The ability to “read a room” plays a significant role in building confidence. Comparing our behaviors, interactions and dialog to others’ is a critical life skill. To join a game or conversation in progress, and then to be accepted into the group, requires the ability to observe and adapt. This month we’ll learn how to “spy” – discretely and respectfully – in order to gather data on how other children/people interact. 

  • Lesson 1: Social Spy p. 117–119
  • Lesson 2: Spy on Places I Know p.163-164
  • Master Class: Knowing Thyself (The Power of Presence/Self-Awareness to increase confidence, belonging and connection)
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity

Every environment and situation has its own set of unspoken social rules – subtle and nuanced ways of how you are expected to behave – that dictate what behavior is appropriate. The more we can learn about how people behave, the easier it is for us to feel comfortable around them.  It is important to pause and think through the expectations of a social situation. 

This month we show you how to help a child pause and interpret facial expressions, body language, mental states, etc; discuss both of your observations. creating an image of positive interaction and adjust behavior to meet those expectations.

  • Lesson 1: Hot & Cold Bear Hunt, p. 171-172
  • Lesson 2: Unspoken Rules – p. 120, 121
  • Master Class: Relationship Challenges: How to communicate effectively and peacefully
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity

Listening and responding are important social skills. To communicate effectively, we need to understand the message. Communication can break down and the sender of the message can become frustrated or irritated if the message wasn’t correctly delivered.

This month we show you how to help a child actively listen, look like they are listening, not “over-talk” the other person and demonstrate the skill of what really listening looks like.

  • Lesson 1: Listening Looks p.192-194
  • Lesson 2: Tell a Tight Story p. 197-198
  • Bonus: Drawing a Martian p. 200
  • Master Class: Engaging Others
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity

This month we examine how to tune into the subtleties of mood and reading another’s energy level. Energy tells us so much about another person’s mood. People’s voice, what they say, and their body language can alert you to their energy.

This month we show you how to help a child consider and interpret the energy of the person they are speaking to, interpret others’ mood and how it affects the conversation and adapt their approach to match the others’ energy.

  • Lesson 1: Reading The Mood p 169-171
  • Lesson 2: Reading the Energy p. 172-173
  • Master Class: Getting the Vibe
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity

Mental flexibility involves the ability to adapt and shift the course of thought or action depending on the situation. It requires willingness to move forward in less regimented ways.

 This month we show you how to help a child develop a more flexible mindset. adjust to daily tasks, roles and responsibilities and reduce daily stress.

  • Lesson 1: Pile of Choices p. 153-154
  • Lesson 2: Building the Tower with No Rules p. 209, 210 
  • Master Class: Compromise & Collaborate 
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity

Empathy is a social emotional learning skill that needs to be taught. Research has shown that people who cannot imagine another person’s inner emotional life, who cannot manage their emotions and who cannot read the room, struggle in the workplace and are less successful than people who have critical social emotional skills.

The child or adult who lacks empathy can be seen as uninteresting, selfish, boring and self-absorbed. Parents and teachers can teach empathy. This training can actually save this child from years of pain and isolation. Remember Empathy is related to Compassion, and who doesn’t need more of that?

  • Lesson 1: Learning to Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes p.139
  • Lesson 2: Walking in the Shoes of People You Know Best p.226-227
  • Master Class: Empathy/Sympathy/Compassion
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity

Perspective taking involves considering the mental states of others (motivations, intentions, desires, knowledge, beliefs) and is exercised in almost every human connection.  When we are able to consider a situation from someone else’s point of view and imagine how they might feel, think, or act, we can develop empathy.

This month we show you how to help a child point out the emotions of others, as well as their own, consider the audience and anticipate others’ motives.

  • Lesson 1: Who Is Your Audience? p. 179-181
  • Lesson 2: Anticipating People’s Motives- Who Are They and What will they do? P.183-185
  • Master Class: Caring to Connect
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity


How effectively we can monitor and manage our energy, emotions, stressors, thoughts, and behaviors is directly related to self-regulation skills. The ability to remain calm – even during big emotions – in order to adapt and respond appropriately will allow children to do well in school, with friends, and at home.

This month we show you  how to help a child respond to a range of emotions in socially appropriate ways,  remain sufficiently flexible and delay spontaneous reactions in order to engender positive well-being, loving relationships, and healthy learning environments.

  • Lesson 1: Silly Goofy Scale p. 244-245
  • Lesson 2: Good Winner, Good Loser p. 240-242
  • Bonus: Calming Strategies p. 141-142
  • Master Class: Setting an Example (Grace)
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity

Filtering information and topics enables us to tune into what is relevant and to delete what is inappropriate.

This month we show you how to help a child focus on the other person, their thoughts and feelings; pay attention to non-verbal messages and listen for the speaker’s thoughts, ideas and meaning.

  • Lesson 1: Topics to Be Filtered p. 176
  • Lesson 2: Filtering Information p. 175-176
  • Bonus: Signs of Interest p.142
  • Master Class: The KEY lesson: Learning to grow and be strengthened by difficulties and translate the wisdom into help others 
  • Choose Love Monthly Challenge/ Activity

You will receive access to Month 1 content via email immediately upon registration; consecutive months will become available through your Digital Library every 30 days.  You will receive a notification by email each time a new month is available.